If you've known me for a long time, then you know that one of the principal failings of my character is that I am somewhat an elitist when it comes to board games. Fortunately, as I've mentioned before, Baby Jack is proof that humans need not commit the moral crimes of their ancestors, and he recently got me playing a fantastic little trivia game called Puke, Pee, or Perspiration?
Like all of the games we play, this one has asymmetrical player roles. Jack, the baby, takes on the role of the Moisture Master. As the Moisture Master, Jack must discreetly secrete some moisture in a manner unobserved by Papa. Upon touching the moisture at a later time, I, as the Guesser, must guess whether the moisture is spit-up (Puke), urine (Pee), or sweat (Perspiration). If I guess right, then I get to change Jack's clothes while he screams. If I guess wrong, then I get to change Jack's clothes while he screams. (This game is more about the journey and the heartwarming bond that forms betwixt Father and Son than it is about the destination.)
Part of what keeps the game fun is that the moisture can take any number of forms: a damp patch on the onesie, a dribble rolling gently into Jack's ear, or (in one dramatic case) a half a centimeter of standing water all along the diaper changing pad. ("Oh my god, Boris, he's soaked," said Mama when I handed her the baby after the latter-most example. "Oh, don't worry," I said confidently, "It's just sweat. There's no way he could have peed so much." I was wrong that time. It was Pee.)
Perhaps you'll think it gauche of me to boast of my victories over an infant whose number of chins is greater than the number of weeks he's been alive, but if any of you out there are playing with your kids and having a hard time staying even, the dominant strategy appears to be to always guess Pee. Jack doesn't even seem to mind so much that I almost always win. I suspect, but would need more evidence to confirm, that Baby Jack just likes peeing on things.
No comments:
Post a Comment