Baby Jack's First Game

I don't mean to brag, but it took less than one week for me to become convinced that Baby Jack has inherited his Papa's penchant for strategy gaming.

Back at the hospital, when Jack was just 0 days old, I successfully taught him how to play one of my all-time faves, Baby Shit Scramble. What makes Jack's skill at this game particularly impressive is that the game features asymmetrical player roles. My role, as the fully developed human adult male, is to hoist Jack's legs in the air while I change his diaper. Jack's role, as the relatively powerless infant, is to somehow wriggle his feet out of my grasp, launch them splat in the middle of the shit in his old diaper, and stir it around as much as possible. Bonus points if he can get both feet in it. Double bonus points if he can smear the shit outside the diaper. Triple bonus points if he can do it with his socks on. Grand slam if, during this whole process, he starts peeing and pisses all over my hands, his hands, his stomach, his old diaper, his new diaper, the diaper liner, and somehow, the back of his neck.

I would hate to turn Jack off gaming, so like a good Papa, I went easy on him the first couple of times we played and let him win. But now, even when I play as hard as I can, Jack still manages to nail those bullseyes! I'm sorry for the braggy post, but I am just a very proud Papa right now!